Samhain -time of endings, grief and love

This post was written in pieces
over time,
just like our lives. 

Now is the longest dark.
Trusting always 
that the light returns,
we are always 
changed by this season
of endings.

Snow now as our constant landscape,
the endless white blankness
of silence.

Cold winds blow
only the oaks and the willow still have leaves
strong and flexible
seem to be the message

releasing 
what is no longer needed
or wanted
whether we want to or not
it will happen
and we have to let go

 

there are not enough tears for this season
and yet
the beauty 
of the dawn,
the first snows and frozen well,
the gardens bare 
except for some seed pods and golden grasses,
the shriveled pumpkins and dried stalks,
robins feasting on holly berries in the waning sunlight,
the glowing wood stove
fill the silent spirit of Winter.  

deep slow breaths

it was a wonderful ritual 
that neither words nor pictures can capture
but here are some of each from then:

us
Samantha
Elaine, Francis, & Ruby
Carol
Elizabeth & Katrina
Mary Jane
Emmallyea & Catherine
Lily
Cal 
and after everyone left Nicci & Bruce

home & reverent
for days/weeks/months/years
but this past week
these days home
or not traveling
but so filled
like each of the days
layered and tumbled together

offerings each evening
plates for those who travel through
wanderers from the other side
may none go hungry
as they go home

staying rooted and grounded
as we allow
that energy to pass by
akido-style

cat pumpkin
 carve outs
 for the directions

Sun rises no longer due East
but the Moon does
for New Energy & Inspiration
Sun light in the West
for the introspective time
Triskelion carved pumpkin in the South
all the emotions
the flooding & flow
environmental lessons & pain
sorrow & grief
welcome
in the North
place of Healing &Winter Winds
please be gentle with us
the Earthly Plane

Triskelion up & down
Cat figure for the center
the Interdimensional Plane

Many flowers
so many flowers

Summer's end
a good season
a good year
even with so much strife
so good to see
each other
still here

ginger leaf wreath
for the tree
Katrina going around
so hung on a branch
and then it balancing
and bending into the fire
catching onto metal
and then the corn plant
bending down to that

praying for days
ritual as closing the door

bone-fire

how to maintain the sacred
the silence
the stillness 
of balance

not addressing directly 
the global devastation
the sadness and grief and loss
the manufactured tragedy
generating gratitude
but never enough

this life is fragile
but we are strong
staying in community

growing potatoes for the outsiders
greed & lawlessness & ill-health & fear
trouble us not 

transitional sprites passing through

the energy down deep
down below
coming up/drawing up
and mixing with 
the energy from the sky
from above
mixing together in our body
strength

the snoring dog/drone meditation
better than a didgeridoo
better than a shruti box
-good laughter-
om

  

 

parking lot & bathroom
potential 
congestion

making sure everyone feels welcome
and safe
and stays reverently focused

gratitude for all our ancestors
I can only name
as far back
as my grandparents
but there are so many more
 unknown yet acknowledged 

prayers for safety and security
may all who are hungry
be fed

allow us to feel our sorrow & grief
without collapse

 

let us not be destroyed by the disruption
our ancestors were strong
which is why
we are here
let us, too, be strong

full moon now
2 days later
we have passed thru
somewhat

 trying not to be afraid
is a bit easier
when the ancestors
are at your back 

our Omens

From our Beloved Ancestors we receive the gift of Thurisaz- thorn/protection
From the Spirits of Nature & Place we receive the gift of Fehu- fee/what things cost/honest wealth
From the Gods & Goddesses we receive the gift of Ehwaz- the horse and rider/partnership
For the Season we receive the gift of Hagal- hail/disruption/transformation 

 

 

 

 

 

Samhain Darkness Descends

 
The dark is so dark.
The days so short.
Sun moving quickly across the sky,
rising almost due South moving only to the Southwest
before dropping barely with any dusk
into the West.

And yet we know the light will return.

Generations of Ancestors
gone before
still living in our hearts,
in our DNA,
in our stories and spirit.

Grief and Fear may be overwhelming,
the unknown looming large,
the collapsing of boundaries, structures and supports
everywhere.

And yet we know the light will return.

The trees,
though they may get cut down for nonsense,
or burned through wildfire,
or succumb to diseases and changes
from the unpredictable climate,
still gather their energy and prepare for Spring.

The winds,
ever more fierce and destructive,
are just atmospheric reactions
clearing the way.

The sun and moon still follow their cycles,
regardless of the internet or the news cycles
or our despair or joy.

One foot in front of the other,
being present in the now,
dark or light,
we are here
together.

Some days it's cold
and there is beautiful snow.
Some days it's warm
with much needed rain.
Drought conditions continue
nonetheless.
Awareness of water consumption,
awareness of media consumption,
awareness of consumer consumption,
awareness of being consumed
is important.

Even with the struggles of the season
the active creative energy
flows.

Sharing, caring,
generosity, community
and love
are what brought us here in the first place.
Honoring our work,
our passions,
our truths,
our bodies,
our gifts,
our deficits,
our needs and wants,
and those of our loved ones
helps us to stay strong.

May we continue forward
together
through the dark,
through the challenges,
through the noise and distraction,
through the idiocracy,
through the environmental degradation,
through the anxiety and distress of this world
with our fortitude and joy
firmly rooted in the Earth.
May laughter be our armor.
May kindness be our seed and harvest.
May we remember
that the light will return
as we walk each other home.

 Sometimes writing about ritual
especially after a powerful one is jumbled and hard.
Feelings and spirit don't always translate into words.
But here's some notes and pics
from our beautiful Samhain ritual
seemingly a lifetime ago
with some memories recalled now

Burn ban
Drought warning
Precious water

Dumb suppers for weeks
ever since the leaves
changed
and started to fall

a green heron overhead
West to East

fire dug into the Earth
in a rusted container

is the future drawing us towards it
or is the past pushing us forward?

boundaries and the squishy zone

forgetting our sacrifice for the Earth Mother
but remembered with Bridget

left a lot of burnable sacrifice
lovingly gathered during the previous season
inside
lots of delayed sacrifice
safety first 

days of prep, a whole day of cleaning and cooking
and art making
self-connection as connection
to our beloved dead

lighting the fire of love
in the four directions
before people came
just us
together.

lighting the fire of love
in the East
the new day
even earlier on the clock now

lighting the fire of love
in the South
fluid emotions and lessons
of flowing

lighting the fire of love
in the West
place of endings and the setting sun
place of introspection
and withdrawing

lighting the fire of love
in the North
place of healing
and Winter
and the color purple

handfuls of sage in the abalone shell
smoke and smoke and smoke
and when it became fire
quickly flaming
quickly doused
in the well

 

how to be honorific

how to be sacred

and contained

not constrained

grounding in the Earth

a bigger fire than planned
but totally in control

even though we prepared for weeks
I didn't really have anything for personal sacrifice to offer
though I had been feeding the spirits
with love
and care
everyday.
There is always something though,
songs from the heart
prayers from and for the souls of the dead and the living.

blessings and warnings
pay attention
be aware
there is fierceness and fury
within and without
and support everywhere

remember your dreams

9 humans and two dogs and a host of Honored Dead
gathering as a group
not for show
or profit
but for love

Giving Giving Giving Giving

a perfectly complemented Pot Luck
of everything

all the sacrifice consumed
all the feast consumed

transitions and acceptance

let us be good ancestors
when it is our time

for our omens Bryan tossed all the runes
onto his rune-casting cloth,
it was a lot and a lot to take in
but these are times of a lot

in the realm of the dead
Gibor- giving
Ewaz- the horse (and rider)
Laguz- the lake (that which we draw up from)
All bundled on top of each other
as if a bind rune

luck & communication
the circuit
right in the middle

it has a harvest cycle
and a destruction/reboot cycle

no influence at the top of the world tree
but at the bottom
it has a whole lot of nourishment & reciprocity
as an overall
the whole thing
is contractive to self

no influence from the East/the Giants
but lots from the West
protection & voice

Berkanu or Birth and Daguz or Day
in the West off the cloth
seen by some as a direct message
from our young Ancestor Starllie
now gone almost a year
to her Mom
for her sister who wasn't present
because that day
she turned 18
and went to vote.

Complexities that we can't always understand
but still we get to live through
we have to live through
we are empowered to live through.