Samhain Darkness Descends

 
The dark is so dark.
The days so short.
Sun moving quickly across the sky,
rising almost due South moving only to the Southwest
before dropping barely with any dusk
into the West.

And yet we know the light will return.

Generations of Ancestors
gone before
still living in our hearts,
in our DNA,
in our stories and spirit.

Grief and Fear may be overwhelming,
the unknown looming large,
the collapsing of boundaries, structures and supports
everywhere.

And yet we know the light will return.

The trees,
though they may get cut down for nonsense,
or burned through wildfire,
or succumb to diseases and changes
from the unpredictable climate,
still gather their energy and prepare for Spring.

The winds,
ever more fierce and destructive,
are just atmospheric reactions
clearing the way.

The sun and moon still follow their cycles,
regardless of the internet or the news cycles
or our despair or joy.

One foot in front of the other,
being present in the now,
dark or light,
we are here
together.

Some days it's cold
and there is beautiful snow.
Some days it's warm
with much needed rain.
Drought conditions continue
nonetheless.
Awareness of water consumption,
awareness of media consumption,
awareness of consumer consumption,
awareness of being consumed
is important.

Even with the struggles of the season
the active creative energy
flows.

Sharing, caring,
generosity, community
and love
are what brought us here in the first place.
Honoring our work,
our passions,
our truths,
our bodies,
our gifts,
our deficits,
our needs and wants,
and those of our loved ones
helps us to stay strong.

May we continue forward
together
through the dark,
through the challenges,
through the noise and distraction,
through the idiocracy,
through the environmental degradation,
through the anxiety and distress of this world
with our fortitude and joy
firmly rooted in the Earth.
May laughter be our armor.
May kindness be our seed and harvest.
May we remember
that the light will return
as we walk each other home.

 Sometimes writing about ritual
especially after a powerful one is jumbled and hard.
Feelings and spirit don't always translate into words.
But here's some notes and pics
from our beautiful Samhain ritual
seemingly a lifetime ago
with some memories recalled now

Burn ban
Drought warning
Precious water

Dumb suppers for weeks
ever since the leaves
changed
and started to fall

a green heron overhead
West to East

fire dug into the Earth
in a rusted container

is the future drawing us towards it
or is the past pushing us forward?

boundaries and the squishy zone

forgetting our sacrifice for the Earth Mother
but remembered with Bridget

left a lot of burnable sacrifice
lovingly gathered during the previous season
inside
lots of delayed sacrifice
safety first 

days of prep, a whole day of cleaning and cooking
and art making
self-connection as connection
to our beloved dead

lighting the fire of love
in the four directions
before people came
just us
together.

lighting the fire of love
in the East
the new day
even earlier on the clock now

lighting the fire of love
in the South
fluid emotions and lessons
of flowing

lighting the fire of love
in the West
place of endings and the setting sun
place of introspection
and withdrawing

lighting the fire of love
in the North
place of healing
and Winter
and the color purple

handfuls of sage in the abalone shell
smoke and smoke and smoke
and when it became fire
quickly flaming
quickly doused
in the well

 

how to be honorific

how to be sacred

and contained

not constrained

grounding in the Earth

a bigger fire than planned
but totally in control

even though we prepared for weeks
I didn't really have anything for personal sacrifice to offer
though I had been feeding the spirits
with love
and care
everyday.
There is always something though,
songs from the heart
prayers from and for the souls of the dead and the living.

blessings and warnings
pay attention
be aware
there is fierceness and fury
within and without
and support everywhere

remember your dreams

9 humans and two dogs and a host of Honored Dead
gathering as a group
not for show
or profit
but for love

Giving Giving Giving Giving

a perfectly complemented Pot Luck
of everything

all the sacrifice consumed
all the feast consumed

transitions and acceptance

let us be good ancestors
when it is our time

for our omens Bryan tossed all the runes
onto his rune-casting cloth,
it was a lot and a lot to take in
but these are times of a lot

in the realm of the dead
Gibor- giving
Ewaz- the horse (and rider)
Laguz- the lake (that which we draw up from)
All bundled on top of each other
as if a bind rune

luck & communication
the circuit
right in the middle

it has a harvest cycle
and a destruction/reboot cycle

no influence at the top of the world tree
but at the bottom
it has a whole lot of nourishment & reciprocity
as an overall
the whole thing
is contractive to self

no influence from the East/the Giants
but lots from the West
protection & voice

Berkanu or Birth and Daguz or Day
in the West off the cloth
seen by some as a direct message
from our young Ancestor Starllie
now gone almost a year
to her Mom
for her sister who wasn't present
because that day
she turned 18
and went to vote.

Complexities that we can't always understand
but still we get to live through
we have to live through
we are empowered to live through.

Moving through the Darkness-Samhain Ritual Recollections on the Approach to Yule

It is grey and often cold, though any temperature above 45 seems springlike.
Snow is in the futurecast and the days are so short.

I remember the spark of the Hallowe'en full moon and of the passing of our ancestors
at this past summer's end.
I know I had put out suppers every night for a month.
In this unbalanced time of ever increasing daily death tolls, fear and loathing, misguided anger and rage,
our gratitude and love and care is especially necessary.

All those humans now gone, like summer,
but never forgotten.

It is good that we can still gather together outside around a fire.
We have become accustomed to the distance. 

I remember the fear of the impending election, like a collective holding of the breath,
Briefly exhaled at ritual, burning hate, letting go of anger,
as if that could be permanent.

Praying for good health and safety.
Each day finding ways to keep on, to push through into the unknown,
as if anything was ever known.

Our intimate spontaneous ritual on Hallowe'en,
just Bryan & I & the full Moon,
a much needed grounding after the first hard frost.
Just to be and to pray and to offer simple sacrifice
and love.

This current time of disassociated time
and space
makes then seem so long ago and also like a dream.
As if the time that was is the same as the time to be,
memory and reverie.

Since I am often writing this as the season ends,
I am often already ahead of myself
while attempting to look back.

We have been through more adjustments and re-calibrations than we would have liked,
but still moving forward.
Finishing anything whenever the weather allowed,
walking more, conscious breathing,
mindful news consumption,
appropriate boundaries,
drinking tea.

Over
whelmed
but still moving forward.

This apartness and isolation
settling or unsettling.
Making sure we have enough,
we will have enough,
we are enough.

As if we ever knew the future, as if there was ever anything more than now.
Rejoicing in each moment as best we can,
still moving forward
in this magnificent life spiral.

Notes and pics with notes from then:

10/31/20

 a fire of all the sacred woods in a cauldron

dance

worlds

light

11/8/20

the fire here
lit with a receipt
fed with dead
echinacea stems
and dried seed heads and elecampane leaves
adding more sticks from the recently filled pile.

Elizabeth arrives, YAY!
Actual hugs, masked but full.
Katrina & Eric and Muji the dog
bring cocktails for all, Freedom Cocktails!
Banging on pot lids and making joyful noise.
Feasting together safely apart.
Ann and Wally the dog!
More feasting and talking,
joyfully free.
Then surprise arrivals, Nicci & Sophie!

This evolution of family, growing up, expanding, filling out, combining and recombining
hopefully gives peace to our ancestors and meaning to this life.

We are here to honor the Gods and the Not-Gods.

Solid calming meditation-sacred safe space
smokey fire

 

special oils for Bridget & Mananan
moldy cheese sought after by dogs for the outsiders
kind words for directions
beer for the Earth Mother
Mother of us all
everyone making gentle offerings
meat substitutes

 

lift up our voice loud and in relief
much work to be done
but moving forward
once again
it seems.

Thanks to all the Ancestors
those we know and those we don't know.

Alex Trebec.
Elizabeth's cat.
Out with what we no longer need.

Our Omens:

Clusters of runes in the different worlds,
Hagal, Sowelu, Dagaz, Isa, Berkanu, Laguz, Uruz.
There was a lot to it and it rang true,
though the words explaining the meanings are forgotten.

burning hate

 
Even more sacrifice, one more big fire, we can't offer enough
to those who have gone on before.

 

The sound of one door closing,
the new doors opening,
not slamming closed but gently released.
So much smoke, tears pouring.

Talking loud.
Breathing.
Burning flowers, the last of the flowers.

So much gratitude
we would not be here without the work
of our Honored Dead.

 

Liquid spicy mustard and bbq sauce,
salt and peppers 

as thanks.

 

Frozen marigolds.
Banging on the well.
Good Feelings.

Coals from our sacred fire
light the next fire
as night falls

old cured pork
as flaming log
in the dark

Make a wish