Autumnal Equinox Balance

 

I don't remember what pre-dawn birdsong sounds like.

The blessing of a sunny day is literally heartwarming. 

Winter approaches with the reminder to tidy up and pare down and get any remaining harvest in.

There is a vague loss, like the occlusion of clouds, in our bones and memories. 

Maybe it is just the cold damp.

The last few days have not been raining, just autumnal and brisk,

but it seemed like it rained for months. At least weeks.

Mold and mushrooms abound.

molded peach

  I longed for an extended warmth, to savor the summer I felt absent from. 

The trees had all been moved and planted and changes continued ever more rapidly. 

Time always flies through the seasons, but this year even more so.

Dreams and waking reverie intertwining with schedules and suddenly it is late October.

 

Back then day was long compared to now.

Trying to get up early to catch daylight, but just wanting to cocoon.

Is this balance?

Back then winter seemed distant. 

Back then there was more time. 

Back then there were still flowers.

It was a weekend of high magick, synchronicities, convergences,

spontaneous breakings and coming together just in time. 

Small feathers and cold rain.

She had come to visit and to complete the cycle of his passing;
the many blessings from that time are still washing over us.

I need maybe another lifetime to understand it all.

But suffice to say there was not much sleep and lots of talk.  

Gathering with people sharing a deep closeness. 

Gathering with intent and focus is a super glue and a super solvent at the same time. 

Each time we gather together to honor our kindred we make those connections stronger. 

We are very much blessed. 

Thank you family and folks who come and worship with us. 

We wondered where to be.

We wanted big flames because he would have loved them, 

but most wood was wet and also there was wind.

We thought about the Nemeton, especially since it is oriented to the Equinoxes,
but people have a hard time with access and comfort.

We settled as we often do for the simple and the easy,

the close-to-the-house fire circle. 

 

 But first we processed past the Five-Circle FirePit and over the stream and through the woods and 

into and around the Nemeton, our sacred enclosure surrounded by the stream.

Bryan lit a small fire there, she went back to get his ashes, we heard birds.

Laughing at magic and dancing like children, we followed each other out and back. 

 

 I love those walks, the processional, the moving meditation, unintentional choreography of random. What shows itself

in the moment is so much,

where does it go? 

This time we were eight Womyn and one Bryan and a happy little dog,

but also with us were husbands and partners (otherworldly and otherwise), 

and our children gone off to college, 

and our friends still at work.

 I remember the on-point of the directional offerings, East exactly is where the sun rises, 

up and down together.

I remember the last of the hummingbird sugar offered to the Outsiders

sucked up by the Earth 

with vigor and desire and speed.

I remember the rose petals flying among the embers.

I remember offerings of seeds and flower heads.

Offerings of candy and playing cards.

Red brick dust from another place and time.

Ashes and ashes
and ashes in ashes.

Tra-la-dee.

 

There was a lot to see in the fire, to feel in the air, to hear on the wind.
It is about being present.

Cold or warm or wet or dry,

on-time or a bit late, alone or together,

old or young.

We must show up in our lives and be here now.

Is this balance?

 

 

 

 

 

Sacrifice

 Our stories, our heartsong, our prayers and wishes.

Our tears, shed without knowing we are crying.

Dancing, humor, cackling.

Is this balance?

Our Omens

From Our Ancestors:Wunjo or JOY! Fellowship, camaraderie, people getting along with one another.

From the Spirits of Nature and Place: Berkanu or Birch, new beginnings, a spiritual birthing.

From the Gods and Goddesses: Othala or Odul, the Sacred Enclosure in particular protecting things, to keep things sacred is in some ways to keep things to yourself, to hold close what it is that you treasure.

For the Season: Sowleu or the Sun! The regulator, the super-giver, non-terrestrial energetic light.

From what do we know of the renewal of life?

The waters of life,

with some fresh mint.

 

After we drink in those blessings 

it is always thank you thank you thank you.

Not as a rush to end but in a fullness of gratitude.

the busyness of many women.

perogies and apple pie. 

comfort food and a dog licking fat.

This is balance.

 And the day after rekindling the fire from the heat within.

Returning to the Nemeton and finishing that fire.

Placing ashes with reverence. 

Learning truths, trusting self, finding lost things.

So much love is this balance.

Mid Summer Solstice past

this season started full and fruitful and on schedule
and then everything changed.
we participated in the greening, the summer, early dawns, the endless cycle of blooming and tending
with no time to write about ritual
being so much in the present of each day.
And then everything changed.

Not everything-just us, our lives, our daily rituals,
replaced with the ritual of hospital trips,
the checking of vital signs,
coordination and advocacy and endless fruitless tests.

At one point I dreamed we were walking
and the leaves were turning and it was so beautiful,
but I wondered where summer had gone.
And now we can walk together once again
on our gentle Earth Mother,
we can walk together to offer prayers and gratitude
to our dear Bridget,
we can sit together like normal
in the new normal.
Notes from our solstice ritual:

everything on schedule, setting up and eating and cleaning.
as always people cancel and others show up
4 full families holding ritual
and additional ones before and after.
Kids and babies and snacks and water.
 

my often disaffected teenager tells me:
”I just know this is going to be a great ritual”

So much color and light.

Discussion of the nemeton before ritual,
the Order of Ritual especially shared for those folks who have never been here,
detailing the sacred space,
and detailed discussion after ritual
of the lore of the sacred center.

processing as family
across the land into the woods, over the moss to our center.





more than enough offerings
never enough gratitude
birds, crickets, stream & a plane. 
Listen.

standing on the Earth grounded
& then
standing on the Earth letting go.

gratitude of yogurt, then birch tea, then water
and more clean water.
 
endless handfuls of flower petals
rose petals heart shaped
love.
 
pinnacle and what is not the pinnacle
remove the false pinnacle.

flaming ball of chocolate.
siren call at some important time
dollar bill sacrifice.
”hear and answer us-give us a sign”
flame extinguished immediately
and then just as quickly re-alived.

our omens:

from our Ancestors: need
from the Spirits: Ing
from the Gods & Goddesses:year
for the Season: fee
Need-Ing the Yearly Fee-what we need, what we do, our annual harvesting, and what things cost

women by the fire at night
summer vacation begins

summer time hey hey hey hey
laughing in the summer time
loving in the summer time.