Samhain(part 1)Summer's End-Winter is here

  It pours and pour and pours. 

But we still have a bit of snow.

From when we got a bunch of snow and then it was really cold.

The River called Hudson is at flood stage and we may get more snow tonite.

It is here, this transitional time of closings and ending and renewals.

Winter is in the air, winter is in the frozen and unfrozen ground,

Winter is in the silence and in the short days. 

Though it is still a few weeks until the darkest days, 

it seems like there is already a bit more breath

and a bit more life.

 Somehow we have rolled through these days of concern and sorrow and towards the joy.

Work far from done, we are finding new ways to cope and to dream.

 

Again so much has filled this time that it is hard to remember then. 

An instability much greater than these weather patterns surrounded us
and was somewhat indistinguishable from the wyrd or the restless large bucks in the woods.

Dumb suppers for many many days. Everything from the fridge and from our plates. 

It is never enough.

How can we properly thank and honor those who have gone before, 

those who know this struggle of life and death?

What can we do to support each other and how can we make a real difference?

Does our vote or our voice or our vision matter?

How can we stay alive and awake and aware?

Sometimes the enveloping darkness is the answer.

Even though it may be scary.

Soon I will write more about our Samhain ritual, to share my notes and pics
and my memories of that time.

But the days are short and we are busy and it is hard to sit and write.

The season is a doorway that we approach and pass through and now we are here.

Autumnal Equinox-part 2: it was there and then gone- the wyrd arrives

rapidly the winds come

and take the leaves
finally in full color
down.

the land is no longer green but yellow and brown and red
the sky is dramatic always
 either with the intensity of the blue or the light of the clouds

We gather sticks for winter.

  We weren't together at the actual time of the equinox but we each broke sticks then.

 A long week becoming free of pain
balancing re-balancing
coming home, letting go
chilling out. setting up.

She came first, with a much needed cooling sprinkling of a rainbow shower
 and then the clearing of the sky.

               
               

 Then she who has returned arrived which is always such a joy 

and then he did, a surprise gift of missed emails,
and then we snacked and drank and toasted and talked, 

women in the kitchen guys in the dining room,

while I assembled and gathered
back and forth.

Our meager harvest becomes enough.

Gently building the fire as conversational/ritual act.
the simplicity of breaking sticks
in the disappearing light of equinox evening.

                                       
                                        

 starting the fire with cedar

meditation silence
sound of fire

strong silence and inner fire
barefoot on the earth
letting/allowing/giving space for each
feel the space in between the crickets
the space in your spine
the fire in your belly

 naturally occurring

deeply moving
flash of fire like a sprite
our hazel nuts for the 3 gates
allowing our sacrifice to be enough

the strength within
the strong breath of fire
sweet smells of roasting garlic and honey
both local, both harvested with love.

prayers to the waters,
 to the clean waters that run free
to the clean waters that nourish all
to the balanced rainfall, to the snows to come
may there be enough and not too much or too fierce
may it always be so.

   ravens caw

 

our omens were five that Bryan later painted into bind runes:

from our Honored Dead: Tir -our sense of the people and justice and direction

from the Spirits of Nature and Place: Elhaz- our attention, our protection, our awareness

from the Gods & Goddesses: Eihwaz, theYew-the axial pull of apparent opposites
and what brings them together

for the Season: Nauthiz or Need and Mannaz or the Self (they came out together as one)

             

Our waters were clear and cold and refreshing and minty.

Our gratitude was everything.

Our feast was enough.

Summer’s End-Happy New Year

So ready for the door to close and to start anew.

Dumb suppers for many days, since the first hard cold winds began to blow, since the Wyrrd was everywhere and we felt the need to feed passing spirits.
And yet the night before ritual, we didn’t,
and what we left out that night wasn’t.

Now a few weeks later there are no longer any leaves, and we are snow-covered.
We are living our tasks and our days and looking forward
and staying present at the same time.

the sun rises later and dark comes instantly now. 
weird weather takes us
from snow to 70° and back to snow and cold.

Notes from just after ritual with rants from now in italics,
in no particular order:
for weeks feeding the spirits
beef bones & bunny crackers
bread & fruit & gin
not every night this past week nor even the night before 

   watching the ritual of feeding and consuming
feeling the active process of reciprocity
as devotional humanity

so dark

scheduling and lists
the owl like a coyote the night before
peregrine falcon outside my window that afternoon

and now in these last weeks we have seen multiple
owls and eagles
flying right in front of our driving selves
many hawks just staring
large crows alone in the tops of trees

so things lined up and timing went well, we were to have a full house in what became the first snow.
Coming home from a day a week of juggling work and life
and easily set up baking pies and such
pre-thanksgiving like, past Halloween’s overload
a thoughtful Samhain,
lovingly brought into this world like a baby.
Bryan as always crafts fire altars while I am out,
sculptural sacrifice
sometimes seen and sometimes unseen.
who and what is our sacrifice for?
Cleaning and shopping and cooking and filling baskets.
When it all flows simply we realize we are participant in and not necessarily master of ceremonies.

 quicker than we thought the darkness came and the moon rose full and alive freeing herself from the trees’ branches  echoing the candles we tried in vain to keep alight.

while standing out taking pictures it felt like it was snowing which in fact it was.
the magic was palpable

waiting for who would arrive, setting candles in the dark at the 5 circle fire large enough for everyone but so far away in the dark of Samhain
we decided to stay close to home at the fire we had lit
for light for warmth for spirit

sacrifice assembled as folks arrive

first she comes beautiful and smiling with her new man,
who lived in the artist studio building Bryan & I met in;
then lovely folks we had never met except virtually through the Druid Organization we are all members of;
then more Druids- a whole family with charming toddlers and their friend;
and then another whole family who are friends with our  family.

Wholeness and Holy and Family and Friends
gathered inside with snacks and trucks and each other
while I go back and forth
tending the fire outside, supporting the company inside.
I sat down on the floor to listen to pre-rit 
and the little boy comes over and climbs in my lap
and looks up at me and smiles and says
”Are you happy?”
oh yes, immensely happy.

one brought a shiny pomegranate and wore a fine cloak
and played a large wooden flute
which was like from an other world.
others shared dried flowers and silent prayers.
small children offering vibrant roses as sacrifice
older children taking great pictures
and huddling near their moms.

sparking flour
sugar too
acrid smell of burning bread, crackers, garlic
and the sage, lavender
and sweet burnt sugar

emptying my pockets of petals and seeds and prayers
grateful for and letting go of
old medicine scripts
may we never need you again

Fires came back to flame with a puff or a flare
I am a good fire tender, I will one day come to own that
hovering over the flame is like being in it
the smoke is like my breath and fills my tears.

the whole sweetgrass bundle as final sacrifice        

3 things about this ritual from my kid the next day:
it seemed faster (lots of folks in the dark especially kids make for to-the-point ritual) the little kids were sort of distracting (well, yeah, that is the beauty and challenge of family) the Rune ring instead of real Runes was different (Bryan used a ring for Rune casting recently gotten at ComicCon)        

We had to remember the omens because we couldn’t take a picture
OSMU-OSMU-OSMU
from the Ancestors:Odul –Sacred Enclosure,
what we keep safe
from the Spirits of Nature & Place:Sowleu-the Sun 
its journey and its motion
from the Gods & Goddesses:Manaz or the Self
for the Season:Uruz -the Primordial Ox, the Aurochs,
the super strength within things

we had our snow-tinged water from our colorful shot glasses
children sharing with their adults.

 
much later, while we were feasting,
the large fire circle with its intricate and entwined
branches and stalks and sticks
went up in flames from one candle that did not go out.
It burned full and completely and it must have been large. Bryan saw the very end of the sacrifice.

And in the morning the remaining reeds were strewn
like runes
we could not read.

Sometimes rituals and gatherings are so full in the moment, in the being, that writing is hard. And yet without the writing, the telling and retelling of the stories we forget. 

Our spine
Our Ancestors
Do what you know