Vernal Equinox Recollections-Imbalanced Balance Again

 

 

This is the time of the full moon, the Pink Moon,
the Pascal Moon the Easter Moon.
Springtime is undeniably here.
The rains are cold and the sun is strong.
Each day there is more in bloom,
bigger leaves, annuals popping up,
life renewed.

How blessed we are to have arrived.

In this overly digital age the line of raindrops
on the window's edge is comforting. 

Slowing down to the speed of the present moment.

Snowing while the sun shines.
Glorious Spring. 

Another Season of evolution and clearing and building
and letting go.

My notes from after ritual are a story of love and loss and awkward balance.
Of acceptance and stillness.
And now, weeks later, of faith and magic.

It's essential to open our hearts even if they're broken.
We have no choice.
Spring comes, even with snow.

Maybe we had to really feel all the Winter
in order to let go for Spring.

Sometimes going through the motions is what we got.
And what is is.

So oddly cold and enough
but not enough.

Enough is enough.
We are enough. 

Should we have prayed more for peace?
Is our gratitude enough?

There is a feeling of large shifts
both positive and not so.
The greening happens regardless.

It seemed like ritual was about reaffirming
our balance
when in fact
it showed
how altered that balance is.

There is a necessary re-calibration of our senses,
awakened from the darkness of winter.
Staying present and still as nature goes on fast forward.

As always the pictures and notes and recollections
do not compare with being here
now.

Let's remember sitting for the directions, all the lavender,
the alcohol vacuum,
flying petals and spilling water and baskets.
Younger and Older Folks
around the fire or on the phone.

Being in the present moment
here.

Hear and answer us we pray. Give us a sign.

from our Honored Dead:Eihwaz is the Yew,
the spindle of the world tree
the continuity of what is going on now
and what has happened in the past

from the Spirits of Nature and Place:Thurisaz is the Thorn,
the protecting guard

from the Gods and Goddesses:Laguz is the Lake,
that which we draw up from
that nutrition Spring

for the Season:Dagaz or Midday, it is a complete view,
almost a paradox view of a situation
that you have never quite seen before.

And all our sacrifice was good
but still
the inter-generational sorrow and hardship
and protection and effort
and ability to survive.

Unstable & fragile
but still perfect.

 

Glorius MidSummer Solstice

I have no notes and we have been through a lot this month so its hard to remember much
but I know that the time was full (as befitting MidSummer) and we were on a path to healing,
to moving forward and towards becoming more of ourselves.

I remember groupings of people, friends bringing friends, younger ones and older ones and families.
I remember that the fire was as hot as it was tall
and that it reminded me to pay attention with reverence.

I remember many women and 3 men-two of whom live here, several people who had never been here
and yet everyone fit easily around the circle
or on the deck
or in the kitchen.

I remember how amazing ritual was.
I remember how magical ritual was.
I remember how I could have stayed up by the fire talking
all night.

The sun has seemed stronger these days, four weeks later,
but I notice the gentle lessening of the light in the dawn and at the end of the day.

We move towards the season of great thunderstorms.
May they be appropriate and quenching without destruction.

Back then, when the daytime was longest, the garden had just begun its total blossoming,
now there is a riot of flowers many taller than the tallest of us.

For us, we went from graduation and family
to illnesses and doctors and healing
to a new door and festivals
to our anniversary and more healing
to Solstice.

There was a stick breaking in the morning.

Renewal of repetitions of ritual.

Marking cycles.  

five-circle firepit set with last summer's stalks

And we were thinking there might have been even more,
maybe there were 13 of us altogether.

Bryan was pretty sure we would see flaming mice
run out of the pyre, which we didn't. 

Chairs around the fire were good, comfortable and easy,
not unlike this season.

pre-rit

The fire was strong and large and powerful.

 

      

And it was super full and bright.

 There was a lot there.

And then there was the final sacrifice,
flame suddenly reappearing after quickly burning down

floating fire over fire.

  Seeking Omens

Our Omens

from the Ancestors, our Honored Dead- Isa/Ice, thinking of ICE taking children away from families, thinking the smooth hard glassy surface, thinking the opposite of this holiday in the dark of winter, thinking staying cool with a frosty one.
from the Spirits of Nature & Place- Berkanu/Birch, beginning, birth, new beginnings
from the Gods & Goddesses- Sowelu/the Sun, the path of the Sun, it has to do with the cycle and with the dependable nature of the movement, orientation, the Major Director of obvious stature.
For the Season- Fehu/Fee, what is the value, the mobile wealth and property, absolute value, could also be the level of cost and what something costs.

We drank our waters and gave our thanks
and settled down again returning to ourselves.

We filled our plates with the great bounty of food.

Started before everyone arrived it glowed long into the night.

Interconnections.