Monday, October 22, 2018

Autumnal Equinox Balance

I don't remember what pre-dawn birdsong sounds like.
The blessing of a sunny day is literally heartwarming. 

Winter approaches with the reminder to tidy up and pare down and get any remaining harvest in.
There is a vague loss, like the occlusion of clouds, in our bones and memories. 
Maybe it is just the cold damp.

The last few days have not been raining, just autumnal and brisk,
but it seemed like it rained for months. At least weeks.
Mold and mushrooms abound.

molded peach
  I longed for an extended warmth, to savor the summer I felt absent from. 
The trees had all been moved and planted and changes continued ever more rapidly. 
Time always flies through the seasons, but this year even more so.
Dreams and waking reverie intertwining with schedules and suddenly it is late October.
Back then day was long compared to now.
Trying to get up early to catch daylight, but just wanting to cocoon.
Is this balance?

Back then winter seemed distant. 
Back then there was more time. 
Back then there were still flowers.
It was a weekend of high magick, synchronicities, convergences,
spontaneous breakings and coming together just in time. 
Small feathers and cold rain.

She had come to visit and to complete the cycle of his passing;
the many blessings from that time are still washing over us.
I need maybe another lifetime to understand it all.
But suffice to say there was not much sleep and lots of talk.  
Gathering with people sharing a deep closeness. 
Gathering with intent and focus is a super glue and a super solvent at the same time. 
Each time we gather together to honor our kindred we make those connections stronger. 
We are very much blessed. 
Thank you family and folks who come and worship with us. 
We wondered where to be.
We wanted big flames because he would have loved them, 
but most wood was wet and also there was wind.
We thought about the Nemeton, especially since it is oriented to the Equinoxes,
but people have a hard time with access and comfort.
We settled as we often do for the simple and the easy,
the close-to-the-house fire circle. 
 But first we processed past the Five-Circle FirePit and over the stream and through the woods and 
into and around the Nemeton, our sacred enclosure surrounded by the stream.
Bryan lit a small fire there, she went back to get his ashes, we heard birds.
Laughing at magic and dancing like children, we followed each other out and back. 

 I love those walks, the processional, the moving meditation, unintentional choreography of random. What shows itself
in the moment is so much,
where does it go? 
This time we were eight Womyn and one Bryan and a happy little dog,
but also with us were husbands and partners (otherworldly and otherwise), 
and our children gone off to college, 
and our friends still at work.
 I remember the on-point of the directional offerings, East exactly is where the sun rises, 
up and down together.
I remember the last of the hummingbird sugar offered to the Outsiders
sucked up by the Earth 
with vigor and desire and speed.
I remember the rose petals flying among the embers.
I remember offerings of seeds and flower heads.
Offerings of candy and playing cards.
Red brick dust from another place and time.
Ashes and ashes
and ashes in ashes.
There was a lot to see in the fire, to feel in the air, to hear on the wind.
It is about being present.
Cold or warm or wet or dry,
on-time or a bit late, alone or together,
old or young.
We must show up in our lives and be here now.
Is this balance?
 Our stories, our heartsong, our prayers and wishes.
Our tears, shed without knowing we are crying.
Dancing, humor, cackling.

Is this balance?

Our Omens

From Our Ancestors:Wunjo or JOY! Fellowship, camaraderie, people getting along with one another.

From the Spirits of Nature and Place: Berkanu or Birch, new beginnings, a spiritual birthing.
From the Gods and Goddesses: Othala or Odul, the Sacred Enclosure in particular protecting things, to keep things sacred is in some ways to keep things to yourself, to hold close what it is that you treasure.
For the Season: Sowleu or the Sun! The regulator, the super-giver, non-terrestrial energetic light.

From what do we know of the renewal of life?
The waters of life,
with some fresh mint.
After we drink in those blessings 
it is always thank you thank you thank you.
Not as a rush to end but in a fullness of gratitude.

the busyness of many women.
perogies and apple pie. 
comfort food and a dog licking fat.

This is balance.

 And the day after rekindling the fire from the heat within.
Returning to the Nemeton and finishing that fire.
Placing ashes with reverence. 
Learning truths, trusting self, finding lost things.
So much love is this balance.