Moving through the Darkness-Samhain Ritual Recollections on the Approach to Yule

It is grey and often cold, though any temperature above 45 seems springlike.
Snow is in the futurecast and the days are so short.

I remember the spark of the Hallowe'en full moon and of the passing of our ancestors
at this past summer's end.
I know I had put out suppers every night for a month.
In this unbalanced time of ever increasing daily death tolls, fear and loathing, misguided anger and rage,
our gratitude and love and care is especially necessary.

All those humans now gone, like summer,
but never forgotten.

It is good that we can still gather together outside around a fire.
We have become accustomed to the distance. 

I remember the fear of the impending election, like a collective holding of the breath,
Briefly exhaled at ritual, burning hate, letting go of anger,
as if that could be permanent.

Praying for good health and safety.
Each day finding ways to keep on, to push through into the unknown,
as if anything was ever known.

Our intimate spontaneous ritual on Hallowe'en,
just Bryan & I & the full Moon,
a much needed grounding after the first hard frost.
Just to be and to pray and to offer simple sacrifice
and love.

This current time of disassociated time
and space
makes then seem so long ago and also like a dream.
As if the time that was is the same as the time to be,
memory and reverie.

Since I am often writing this as the season ends,
I am often already ahead of myself
while attempting to look back.

We have been through more adjustments and re-calibrations than we would have liked,
but still moving forward.
Finishing anything whenever the weather allowed,
walking more, conscious breathing,
mindful news consumption,
appropriate boundaries,
drinking tea.

Over
whelmed
but still moving forward.

This apartness and isolation
settling or unsettling.
Making sure we have enough,
we will have enough,
we are enough.

As if we ever knew the future, as if there was ever anything more than now.
Rejoicing in each moment as best we can,
still moving forward
in this magnificent life spiral.

Notes and pics with notes from then:

10/31/20

 a fire of all the sacred woods in a cauldron

dance

worlds

light

11/8/20

the fire here
lit with a receipt
fed with dead
echinacea stems
and dried seed heads and elecampane leaves
adding more sticks from the recently filled pile.

Elizabeth arrives, YAY!
Actual hugs, masked but full.
Katrina & Eric and Muji the dog
bring cocktails for all, Freedom Cocktails!
Banging on pot lids and making joyful noise.
Feasting together safely apart.
Ann and Wally the dog!
More feasting and talking,
joyfully free.
Then surprise arrivals, Nicci & Sophie!

This evolution of family, growing up, expanding, filling out, combining and recombining
hopefully gives peace to our ancestors and meaning to this life.

We are here to honor the Gods and the Not-Gods.

Solid calming meditation-sacred safe space
smokey fire

 

special oils for Bridget & Mananan
moldy cheese sought after by dogs for the outsiders
kind words for directions
beer for the Earth Mother
Mother of us all
everyone making gentle offerings
meat substitutes

 

lift up our voice loud and in relief
much work to be done
but moving forward
once again
it seems.

Thanks to all the Ancestors
those we know and those we don't know.

Alex Trebec.
Elizabeth's cat.
Out with what we no longer need.

Our Omens:

Clusters of runes in the different worlds,
Hagal, Sowelu, Dagaz, Isa, Berkanu, Laguz, Uruz.
There was a lot to it and it rang true,
though the words explaining the meanings are forgotten.

burning hate

 
Even more sacrifice, one more big fire, we can't offer enough
to those who have gone on before.

 

The sound of one door closing,
the new doors opening,
not slamming closed but gently released.
So much smoke, tears pouring.

Talking loud.
Breathing.
Burning flowers, the last of the flowers.

So much gratitude
we would not be here without the work
of our Honored Dead.

 

Liquid spicy mustard and bbq sauce,
salt and peppers 

as thanks.

 

Frozen marigolds.
Banging on the well.
Good Feelings.

Coals from our sacred fire
light the next fire
as night falls

old cured pork
as flaming log
in the dark

Make a wish

Samhain(part 1)Summer's End-Winter is here

  It pours and pour and pours. 

But we still have a bit of snow.

From when we got a bunch of snow and then it was really cold.

The River called Hudson is at flood stage and we may get more snow tonite.

It is here, this transitional time of closings and ending and renewals.

Winter is in the air, winter is in the frozen and unfrozen ground,

Winter is in the silence and in the short days. 

Though it is still a few weeks until the darkest days, 

it seems like there is already a bit more breath

and a bit more life.

 Somehow we have rolled through these days of concern and sorrow and towards the joy.

Work far from done, we are finding new ways to cope and to dream.

 

Again so much has filled this time that it is hard to remember then. 

An instability much greater than these weather patterns surrounded us
and was somewhat indistinguishable from the wyrd or the restless large bucks in the woods.

Dumb suppers for many many days. Everything from the fridge and from our plates. 

It is never enough.

How can we properly thank and honor those who have gone before, 

those who know this struggle of life and death?

What can we do to support each other and how can we make a real difference?

Does our vote or our voice or our vision matter?

How can we stay alive and awake and aware?

Sometimes the enveloping darkness is the answer.

Even though it may be scary.

Soon I will write more about our Samhain ritual, to share my notes and pics
and my memories of that time.

But the days are short and we are busy and it is hard to sit and write.

The season is a doorway that we approach and pass through and now we are here.

The Power of Human Amplification- Samhain part1

People coming together to support each other, to stand as one voice, to occupy that space that we can call ours.

We knew it would snow, we knew it would be cold, we knew we might loose power and we would need a fire. I realized the only way to have that fire for ritual on Sunday would be to start it Saturday. Because of the weather all plans for the day were cancelled and we made food and fire and prepared for Summer’s End.

The fire took flame as the first flakes fell. It quickly flared. We gathered sticks and watched with awe.

We fed that fire all day as the snow grew deeper everywhere but our circle.

The snow was almost 2 feet deep by morning; our fire had burned down but was warm enough to be rekindled again- just like the circle of the year, just like our lives, just like our spirits.