winter

   
holidays past, looking for a semblance of normality as the sun shines across the landscape of snow. Freezing temps to give way to just above 32° so the precipitation we receive will be sleet or rain. and then it will go back down to below zero.
now yet another week later and we have had brutal arctic temperatures and more snow giving way overnight to 50+ degree weather, melting again the white landscape, creating floods, pools and powerful streams.

The lives of water constantly changing as the thermometer roller-coasts this season.
the hard winter I knew would come is here.

this mid-winter solstice started our 2 weeks of cocooning family time, going between the woodstove, the kitchen and the couch. Time outdoors shoveling and marveling at the clouds, the sky, the clear air, the wind, the snow, the squalls and the winter light. and more shoveling.
Time as family, time to clean, time to eat, time to sleep, new kitten time.

Solstice ritual was an energy shift,
the enduring lost fog of the misunderstood and forgotten, giving way to small bursts of energized clarity.
We are only here now, it is not about plans, it is just about doing.
It all starts with a tiny flame of light.

Candles circle the berme of snow around the fire pit,
dug out in the cold and melted to bare earth in the changing weather of this winter’s sun.           


The magic of transformation is nearly impossible
to capture in the moment,
even harder to remember the next day or weeks later.
But it is still felt and here, even if indescribable.

my notes from a ritual held the night of solstice eve at a fire nestled in a spiral of snow and built from small layered and stacked sticks lit in the blue dusk of just evening:

crystal ball on a bed of fir
I sit silently alone as the sky darkens and the flame shines.

first just us
then +1
then +2
then +1 more
putting additional wine glasses circle down in the snow.

 

      

calling directions with the wave of the pine branch
always the birds, even in the dead of winter, call to us
the owl as commentator, echoing our invocation.

the light melting energy
shift

 
prayers and bones and shout outs to those who have passed, to those struggling with illness or loss,
to the old year gone and the new year coming.

May we all find our sustainable peace, our heart and hearth
May we all be in good health
May we all be happy and productive
May we all be together on this journey as the sun sets and rises anew.

The way the fire speaks to each of us, flaming different for Mananan or Bridget, each of the Kindred or me.
And at the end, calling to let go of excess energy,
the mostly consumed yet full of spirit fire suddenly flared  sending sparks into the night sky to mingle with stars.


      



















Our omens
from our Ancestors:Kenaz the torch, our ability to light up, fire up, illuminate, shape & see & craft 
from the Spirits of Nature and Place: Raido or communication and the journey or the quest 
from the Gods & Goddesses: Manaz the self
for the Season:Laguz the lake, that which we draw up from
    

Samhain late afternoon

things have odd beginnings and odd endings.
    First sun of this cold day, this day that begins winter, there will be no more t-shirt days until next year.
It is cold, and cold for the duration.
More time inside than outside.

smoke in our eyes and the fire wildly in control. made with lots of paper after all the sticks laid out got cold and wet. Finally flame and layers of wood slowly burning strong. Set up previously and yet not ready as planned. Plans rarely are stuck to, plans always change, it is the prep and the flexibility that remains constant.
Leaves illuminated with the setting light with background grey.

3 airplanes, or maybe 5, low and loud and hidden in the cloud cover, coming from the North, while calling in the North, the place of winter, of what we don’t yet know.       So many deaths and strange sadness.
So much weirdness and wyrrdness and tears.
letting in the pernicious evil, the zombies,
the internet, taking over our spirits our souls.
I choose love and kindness.

Samhain means summer’s end, and we think about this past summer and how wonderful it was and what we no longer have from this summer but what we are so grateful for.

this world is the same world as all our ancestors, all people have ever known, even the dinosaurs knew this earth and called her home.

the ease of simplicity of small groups of feeling here on this earth, of not caring for performance but only of participating.

wrapped in cloaks and blankets and coats watching. smoke filled eyes always transport me not here but in between.

                     

Bunches of lemon balm for our Kindred, up in flames and embers blown in the wind like us dancing.

Our honored dead, those people who experienced what it is like to be imperfect, who have lived and died, who were our relatives or teachers or friends or just other humans, may this time of your travels be safe and may you feel welcome and fed here.

The spirits of Nature and Place, spirits of these rocks and our pets and the leaves and the branches and the plants and the garden and the wind and the clouds and all the animals and trees and the sun and the moon.

And all the Gods and Goddesses, shining ones of all kinds, so many names mixed with the smoke.

Children offering gratitude for time and weather with their words and pink candy and laughter, prayers for the recently deceased-our family of those no longer here, prayers for their families, prayers for the sorrow, prayers for the passing and the safe passage of these spirits back, prayers for our health and well being.
 
sculptural mullein Delta-T antenna structure placed over the fire in its own space somehow beyond the flame. All our final sacrifice offered.
  
me reading cards for omens,
hallowing them in the smoke,
cutting the deck for each card,
more complex explanations than runes,
no less directed in their meaning.

(note- for ease of definition here, out of the moment, I have referred to The Tarot Handbook by the incredibly wise and gifted human Angeles Arrien ) 
from the Ancestors: Prince of Wands- Mastery of Inspired Creativity: trust in letting the creative process flow. focus, concentration & attention to manifest

from the Spirits of Nature & Place: 8 of disks, sun in Virgo, Prudence or wisdom or the harvest tree that manifests as a result of using prudence or wisdom. Attend to details, organization, systematization. Harvest follows order it does not follow chaos, harvest follows trust, it does not follow control. Prudence is not pushing or holding back but is that state of consciousness that is centered and integrated.

from the Gods & Goddesses: 7 of Wands, Mars in Leo, Valor- the courage to stand by what you value and not to compromise or settle for less. Trust your experience. With this courage to believe in yourself, things will unfold naturally and will renew or regenerate or allow you to move in new directions that you value.

for the season: Ace of Swords- mental clarity, inventiveness and originality. The mind that has no doubt, creative thinking- the inspired and innovative mind willing to express itself dynamically and is constantly renewing and regenerating itself. This is the symbol of expanded awareness, the “aha” experience.

Diamond Consciousness.

A good year to implement an original idea or an important dream or purpose that can be actualized.

Accepting the goodness of those omens through the hallowed waters of life gifted to us by the Earth Mother, the ever changing all-mother,
we drink heartily in large gulps.

Closing down quickly with thanks and pumpkin spirals, huddling closer, feeling the earth, grounding out.

then the girl throwing off coats and blankets and breaking into wild dance.

eating apple pie for dinner, ready to sleep early. Daylight savings time and double solar eclipse. Wind whipping at nothing and the stream, choked with leaves, roars anyway.

Sometimes its funny, I have been longing for this holiday, this ritual to put the season to bed, to start anew, to move on. However it feels like that took place perhaps over the last few days of realigning with vision, of doing art, of making dinner or doing laundry and dishes, of dreaming before sleep and before waking up.
And this ritual was just gently closing the door.