Monday, December 2, 2019

Samhain- Endings and Beginnings

 First snows blanket the land.
Grateful to have a home.
Little birds hop around the feeder and the male cardinal shines bright against the white.
Grateful to share our home.

Life is different now
drifting in an endless not enough
of time or balance
or focus or tears. 
Good to have snow to make everything stop. 
Good to allow flexibility.
Good to just be. 

The days go by lost to non-time.
I don't know when was then. 
I am glad for the starkness of the landscape
and dream of Spring.

Even the pictures do not bring memory of ritual back
(though I remember how powerful it was).
The past is lost and all we have is the now.
Important to be here and to be present
(though in my mind it is already Yule).

From my notes I can remember how fragile I was then. 
Our ritual was 3 weeks after my Dad's funeral. 
I had been home for a couple of days for the first time in a long time. 
We showed and sold work at an arts fundraiser
for Clearwater Education the day before.
Getting out was normal.
Cleaning the house was normal.
But nothing was normal.
At that point one day at a time was a lot.
Now with all the leaves gone and the well frozen,
I can see whole weeks, whole seasons, whole lives.

Mourning our Honored Dead
is a right and a responsibility and a blessing.
Acknowledging endings and letting go is so natural
and yet so hard. 
Grateful for lessons from Nature.

 My notes and pics from then:

5 women in the kitchen
with food and drink
each a special sister
strong hugs
love is all there is

crows and windchimes

 tuning forks
cold air
ginko leaf fairies

 flower petals and acorns and mint crumbled for tinder
 arrow pointed stick and leap of fire
sacrificial fir branch
fire leaps at Bryan
following him
reaching for him

our omens
from our Honored Dead: Os or Ansuz- the Voice, the Wind
from the Spirits of Nature and Place: Tir or Tirwaz- the Spiritual Warrior, direction Up
from the Gods & Godesses: (two runes pulled at once) Raido reversed and Isa-
Communication challenges, miscommunications, weird electronic communications and Ice,
that which is frozen and hard and slippery and clear and solid
for the Season: Hagalaz -Hail, Disruption

listen, focus, look for clarity, watch for danger, 
forewarned is forearmed.

 the coldness of the bright light
the surprising chill of the sun
the shortness of the day

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