Yule-Darkest Night (Now Passed)

Because my life was in drift, we had to reschedule.
Easy Friday evening, before or after other plans.
Everything was going, seemingly under control. 
Snow covered cold but warm and bight inside.
I remember the fairy lights illuminating the dark.
I remember the darkening blue.
I remember feeling ok.

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  Darkest nights, Sun rising in the South.

Now the sun comes up about 15degrees more to the East. 

Spring is coming, slowly and step by step, but there is no stopping these cycles of life.

And then, as cycles go, it all changed.

Had a good call with my mom while the sun set on that Mother's Night.
Five minutes later she fell and broke her hip.
Face-Timing with the aide who has become my sister,
we get mom ambulanced to the hospital.
A few dear friends show up while I am on the phone
and it grows evening.
I am so happy to see them
and also in shock and deeply saddened.
It has been really hard.
And I am so grateful to be here now.

We plan to do our ritual and afterwards I will leave.
Elizabeth had not shown up,
I call her and she thinks ritual is the next day.
We apologized to each other and made it ok.
Though it didn't feel anything other than surreal.
Looking for light in the darkness.

And, as we do, we continued on.

Ritual was beautiful and profoundly moving.
Deep simplicity, it was more than enough just to be.
The light and our gratitude giving comfort.
Hot Fire. Cold Waters.
Bryan's Words.
Our Sacrifice.

I have no notes, just these pictures.
It is enough.

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ember on ice

 

 

 

our Omens in the dark in the snow 

from the Ancestors: Elwaz the elk's horns or the elksedge. Its always about not grabbing hold of it cause you could cut yourself. Its about attention and awareness. And potentially alarm.
The opposite of peace. Pay attention. Be alert. The World needs more lerts.

from the Spirits of Nature and Place: Ehwaz or the horse. Upside Down. The transportation or the living empowerment that gets you someplace. And upside down means look out for that.
That element of what is it that we count on to get us through.

from the Gods & Goddesses: Perth or Perthro the Lottery Cup, Chance and Luck.

for this Season:Raido not reversed. The Communications or the Circuit. And the ability for it
and the message
to get out.

 

 

 

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 I have barely begun to come back into my body, now almost a month later. 

Imbolc will be here soon and we will know that we have survived. 

The new snow silences all.

Days are noticeably longer. 

Sleep when you can, be gentle and alive.

We move on. 

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